Is it weird that I'm sad my oldest is going to middle school?

Dec 191 min read

11yo is starting 6th grade in the fall and I'm being weirdly emotional about it. He won't want me picking him up from school anymore, definitely won't want to be seen with me at the mall, and I'm realizing I'm basically entering a new phase where I'm less "essential" to his day-to-day. Logically I know this is healthy and normal but man... I'm gonna miss the little kid phase. His 8yo brother still needs me but it's different. Anyone else deal with this?

11 comments139 views

Comments(11)

MMike F.RegularDec 20

Right there with you. My oldest just started 6th grade and won't let me walk him in but he still texts me memes during lunch and asks my opinion on stuff. The dynamic changes but it doesn't disappear

CChris N.RegularDec 20

Dude I literally cried dropping my 6th grader off on the first day. There's something about that transition where they're not quite a teen but definitely not a little kid anymore. It's heavy

DDustin P.New DadDec 19

I feel this so hard. My son's about to start middle school too and I keep thinking about how in a few years he won't even want rides from me. The mall comment hit different because I remember exactly when my dad became uncool

CChris N.RegularDec 21

The good news is they usually come back around in like 5-6 years. Not to minimize what you're feeling but my oldest is 17 now and we actually hang out voluntarily. It's different but it's good different

BBrian L.RegularDec 21

It's not sad, it's grief. You're mourning the end of a phase and that's completely valid. My 12yo still lets me hug him goodbye at school pickup but I know it's borrowed time. You're allowed to feel this

MMatt W.RegularDec 21

Take the photos and videos now. Document this phase because you'll want to remember it when he's older. I have like 500 awkward middle school photos of my kid and they're genuinely precious to me now

BBenny R.RegularDec 21

This is exactly where I'm at with my oldest right now. The weird thing is I know he still needs me, he's just gonna need me different. Less "come to the mall with us" and more "can I get money for the mall." It's a shift but it's not an ending, even though it feels like it

LLou P.RegularDec 21

Not weird at all man. That shift from being essential to being embarrassing is REAL. I hit this hard when my oldest started middle school. The mall comment hit me right in the chest

CChris F.RegularDec 20

I was the same way before my son started middle school. What helped was realizing he's not leaving ME, he's just establishing independence. We still have dinner conversations, car rides, weekend stuff. It just looks different

SSawyer N.RegularDec 21

Not weird at all man. My oldest just turned 12 and I felt this in my soul. They go from wanting to do everything with you to basically pretending you don't exist in public. It's a real loss even though you know it's normal

NNate H.RegularDec 21

Middle school is such a weird age. They're too cool for parents but also still kind of need us. My advice: stay available but stop trying so hard to be cool. He'll actually respect that more than you think