Why does my 6yo keep asking for expensive stuff after school?

Dec 141 min read

So my daughter started first grade and now every day it's "Dad can we get [thing]?" Lunch box from Target? Spiral notebook she doesn't need? Yesterday she wanted a $40 roller skate set after watching some kids use them at recess.

I'm not trying to be cheap but this wasn't happening before. Is this just normal peer pressure stuff at this age or am I doing something wrong? Her mom says I'm overthinking it but I dunno. Any parents dealt with this?

11 comments398 views

Comments(11)

FFrank D.RegularDec 14

First grade social stuff. She's probably seeing other kids with stuff and feeling the pressure. We had the same with our daughter. We started a 'special request' system where she could ask for ONE thing per week instead of daily begging, and we'd actually consider it. Weirdly worked.

MMike R.New DadDec 15

Also—is she asking because she genuinely wants stuff or because she wants YOUR attention? Sometimes the 'can we buy this' is really 'can we do something together.' We started saying 'no to that item, but yes to [activity]' and it helped.

TTony F.RegularDec 15

The 'after school' timing is key here. She's probably amped up and impulsive, not actually wanting the stuff. Maybe pick her up, decompress at home first, then talk? We found a snack and 20 mins chill time massively reduced the "I NEED things" phase.

ZZack M.RegularDec 15

Real talk—some of this is peer pressure she's experiencing for the first time. Kids at school are talking about what they have. Not saying you need to buy stuff but acknowledging that she's noticing what her classmates have might help her feel less alone about wanting things.

SScott W.RegularDec 16

We did something similar with our son—told him he could earn money doing extra chores and then decide if he actually wanted to spend it. Totally changes the dynamic when it's their own money. Sounds expensive but he's way more thoughtful about it now.

DDean F.RegularDec 16

The roller skate thing makes sense though—she saw a friend do it and now it's the best thing ever. With our kid we just wait 2 weeks. If she still wants it, we consider it. 90% of the time she forgets and moves on lol.

FFrank K.RegularDec 16

lol the roller skate thing. Yeah that tracks. First graders are just absorbing EVERYTHING they see. You could try the 'birthday/holidays only' talk but she's probably not ready to fully get it yet.

MMatt D.RegularDec 16

The wants list idea is genius. How often do you actually end up getting the stuff on there?

OOmar S.RegularDec 16

This is the age where they suddenly realize other kids have stuff. Not much you can do except be consistent about your family's budget. We just kept saying 'that's not in our plan' instead of long explanations. Kids get it faster than we think.

TTerrence M.RegularDec 17

This is the first grade commercial exposure hitting her hard. Suddenly she's seeing what other kids have and comparing. We went through this exact thing. We started a 'wants list' where she writes down (or we write) the things she asks for and we revisit it weekly. Most of it doesn't survive to the next week.

LLuke N.RegularDec 15

Maybe like 1 out of every 20 things? But the point is less about the actual purchase and more about giving her a way to express it without it being a daily negotiation. Once it's on the list she kinda moves on.