She's 22 and talking about getting engaged to a guy she's known for 8 months. I like the kid well enough but come on. Looking for advice on how to express my concerns without being the overbearing dad. I raised her to think for herself but sometimes thinking for yourself means making mistakes. How do I guide without controlling?
Eight months is rough. Not trying to be harsh but that's when the honeymoon phase is still in full effect. I'd definitely talk to her about why there's a rush instead of just saying no.
This is tough because if you push too hard against it she might just resent you and marry him faster out of spite. I've seen that backfire. Better to stay close and keep the door open for real conversations.
At 22 she's legally an adult so you can't really stop her, but you can definitely have conversations about what marriage actually involves. Maybe suggest they live together first or have a longer engagement?
Does the guy seem like a decent dude otherwise? Because if he is, maybe your daughter just needs time to realize on her own that 8 months isn't that long. Pushing usually just creates conflict.
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Talk to her about getting a prenup or doing a really long engagement like 2-3 years minimum. Makes it seem like you're supporting her while also giving time to actually know each other.