Is anyone else tired of the modern man act? | DadHQ

Is anyone else tired of the modern man act?

May 51 min read

I love my kids more than anything but I'm exhausted by the expectation to be this soft gentle version of fatherhood. I want to teach them discipline, self-reliance, hard work. I want to lead my family with strength and conviction, not just be a buddy. My wife actually agrees with me but society makes you feel bad for wanting to be a strong father figure. Traditional values aren't about being harsh, they're about integrity and leadership. Anyone else fighting this battle?

7 comments181 views

Comments(7)

PPhilRegularMay 7

I get what you're saying. Being present and involved doesn't mean you have to become someone you're not. You can be a good dad and still be yourself. What does the modern man act look like to you?

DDerek M.RegularMay 5

Building stuff with my son in the backyard has taught me that kids actually crave discipline and clear boundaries. They want to know you believe in them enough to expect more. Soft doesn't have to mean weak.

EEric W.New DadMay 5

Been coaching my boys in baseball for years and I think the key is balance. They need to see you care deeply but also that there are standards and expectations. Discipline builds character, that's not old school thinking.

KKarl J.RegularMay 5

My son's been doing karate for a while now and I get what you're saying. Teaching discipline doesn't mean you can't be present and caring at the same time, they actually go hand in hand. Kids need structure and someone who'll push them to be better.

BBrandonNew DadMay 6

This resonates. You can be involved and supportive without losing yourself. There's got to be a middle ground between old school checked out dad and trying to perform gentleness 24/7.

KKevinRegularMay 6

You can love your kids completely and still be tired of the performance. That's not mutually exclusive. The exhaustion comes from trying to be everything to everyone all the time.

RRob H.RegularMay 6

What kind of expectations are you hitting? I feel like I'm just trying to keep everyone fed and alive at this point.