Is it old-fashioned to expect respect from your kids

1w ago1 min read

My wife says I'm too strict about how my kids address me and other adults. I expect yes sir, no sir, and I expect them to look people in the eye. I don't think that's outdated, I think it's teaching them respect and manners. My kids know I love them but they also know there are lines. Maybe I'm out of touch but we've lost something as a culture when kids talk back to their parents without consequence. Anyone else trying to hold the line on this stuff?

7 comments115 views

Comments(7)

RRandy B.Regular1w ago

Respect is definitely not old-fashioned. That said, kids learn more from watching how we treat others than from being told what to say. Maybe model the behavior you want and let it sink in naturally?

RRobertRegular1w ago

I think there's a middle ground here. Eye contact and basic manners are solid life skills, but the 'yes sir' thing might feel stiff to some kids. My approach is teaching respect through actions more than rigid rules, and that seems to work better with mine.

AAdam J.Regular1w ago

As a coach, I see it all the time - kids with good manners and respect tend to do better in everything, sports included. Eye contact especially opens doors for them. I'd say you're onto something, just maybe ease up on how formal the delivery needs to be.

EEdRegular1w ago

I think the 'yes sir' thing depends on your values and where you live. I grew up with that in the South and it felt normal. Now in Minneapolis with four kids I'm more relaxed about it, but they still know when I'm serious. Respect without fear seems healthier.

RRob H.Regular1w ago

This is tricky because kids need structure and boundaries but they also need to feel like their thoughts matter. Maybe ask yourself if you want the respect because it's important for his development or because it makes you feel more in control?

TTobias K.Regular6d ago

Nothing wrong with expecting respect from your kids but the delivery matters. My kids respect me more when I respect them back. The 'sir' stuff is less important than them actually listening when it counts.

CChris M.New Dad1w ago

There's a middle ground here. My kids know to respect adults but I'm not hung up on 'yes sir no sir' all the time. Respect should go both ways though, and kids respecting you as their parent is definitely important. Maybe it's less about the formality and more about the behavior underneath?