Is it still important to be the provider?

1d ago1 min read

My wife makes more money than me now and honestly it's been messing with my head. I know that's probably old fashioned thinking but I was raised to believe a man provides for his family. We've talked about it and she doesn't feel weird about it at all. I'm trying to work through what it means to lead and be the head of household in 2024 when the financial picture looks different. How do you guys navigate this without making it weird?

7 comments177 views

Comments(7)

RRyan M.New Dadjust now

This one hits different for a lot of us. The provider thing is baked into how we were raised. But real talk: being a good partner and dad is way more about showing up than paychecks. If anything, having a partner who kills it financially takes pressure off you both. That's a win.

GGreg H.New Dadjust now

My wife outearns me by like 30k and yeah I had to get over my ego about it. The provider role is about showing up, being present, handling your responsibilities. Money is just one way to do that. Sounds like you both are killing it.

MMasonNew Dad1d ago

The head mess is real and you're not alone in it. I'd say redefine what provider means to you. Is it just money? Or is it making sure your family is taken care of in every way? Because you're still doing that even if her paycheck is bigger.

DDanielRegular1d ago

Man, that's a head thing to work through but honestly it's 2024. My wife out-earns me by a solid chunk and at first yeah, it stung. But then I realized being a good provider isn't just money. It's showing up, being present, handling stuff around the house. Those matter just as much.

TTravisNew Dad11h ago

It's not weird to feel that way but here's the thing - being the provider was never just about money. It's about stepping up and taking care of your family however you can. She's doing it too now. You're both providing. That's actually better.

GGarrett M.New Dadjust now

The fact that you're even worried about this means you probably do more around the house or with the kids than you're giving yourself credit for. That counts. Money isn't the only way to take care of people.

DDanielRegular15h ago

Real talk though - is she making more actually a problem or is it just messing with your head? Because those are different things. If the family is good and you're both contributing, that's just winning differently.