She might be right but also I think she's too soft. We clash on discipline pretty often. I want them to understand consequences, she wants to talk everything through. We love each other and the kids but how do you find balance here? Anyone else dealing with different parenting styles between spouses?
My wife says the exact same thing about me and honestly I think she's picked up on something I was missing. Kids respond better when they understand the why behind consequences, not just the punishment part. Doesn't mean no discipline though.
Have you guys ever sat down and actually talked about what you each want the end result to be? Like forget the method for a second. Are you both trying to raise respectful kids who learn from mistakes? If yeah then maybe you're closer than it feels.
The fact that you two can disagree on this and still love each other and the kids is actually huge. A lot of couples don't figure that out. Maybe the issue isn't that one approach is right and one is wrong, just different priorities.
Hard discipline without conversation breeds resentment. Too much talking without consequences breeds chaos. You probably need both and your wife probably knows it too. Might just be how you're implementing it that's the issue.
Could be worth asking her specifically what she thinks you're being too hard about. Maybe it's not discipline in general but one particular thing where she sees it different. Specifics help more than vague disagreements.
This tension is actually healthy in a weird way. Means you're both invested. The problem parents are the ones who don't care about discipline OR understanding their kids. You guys clearly care about both.
Sign in to join the conversation.
You're describing every parenting disagreement ever. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle. Your kids do need to understand consequences but she's not wrong that talking stuff through matters too. Both things can be true.