She got caught lying about where she was last weekend. I'm not trying to be the bad guy but I also can't just let this slide. How do you guys handle it when your kids break your trust? Want to do this the right way, not just be angry.
Grounding honestly never worked for mine. What did work was having her understand the actual consequence of breaking trust, not just a punishment. Like if she lied about where she was, how does that affect what freedom she gets going forward? Make her earn the trust back through actions.
You're already on the right track by not wanting to be the bad guy and thinking this through instead of just reacting. A lot of parents would have blown up. I'd recommend staying calm when you talk to her, ask questions about why she felt she needed to lie, and set clear expectations going forward. Kids respect that way more than yelling.
I had this exact same situation. What helped was telling her that I'm not mad she went somewhere without permission, I'm disappointed she lied about it. Different message and it stuck with her better than I expected.
The fact that she got caught is actually the teaching moment here. Don't make this about punishment, make it about rebuilding trust. That's way more effective long term.
How old is she? That matters a lot because the approach changes pretty drastically between 13 and 17.
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This is tough man. I went through something similar with my oldest when she snuck out. The lying part is honestly what bothered me more than where she actually went. I sat down with her and asked why she felt she needed to lie instead of just talking to me about it. Turned out she was scared of my reaction more than the actual consequence. Didn't solve it overnight but it opened a conversation.