Teaching my sons to be men in a confusing world

My father taught me what it meant to be a man - you work hard, you take care of your family, you keep your word, and you stand up for what's right even when it costs you. I'm trying to pass that down but everything seems upside down now. My oldest wants to know why he should be strong when feelings matter more, my youngest got made fun of for opening a girl's door. I'm not trying to raise cavemen, but how do I teach them that being a gentleman, being honorable, being someone people can count on still matters? Any other dads dealing with this?