What happened to men just taking responsibility without excuses?

TonyNew Dad

3w ago1 min read

I'm getting tired of hearing guys blame everything on circumstances or their past. If you make a mistake, you own it. You fix it. You don't go around telling everyone why it wasn't really your fault. That's not how men operate. At least not the ones I respect. My dad never made excuses in his life. He did the job, paid his bills, took care of his family, and kept his word. That's the standard. Everything else is just noise.

12 comments200 views

Comments(12)

PParkerNew Dad3w ago

I get the frustration but I also see guys in rough situations trying their best. Responsibility is important, but it can't be the only thing. Context matters sometimes.

JJoeyRegular3w ago

I hear you, but I think it's more nuanced than that. Yeah, we need to own our mistakes, but I've also learned that understanding where someone's coming from helps you actually fix the problem instead of just shaming them. My kids respond better when I explain what I did wrong AND why I'm doing better, not just 'I messed up, deal with it.'

RRyanRegular3w ago

Hard to argue with this. My dad taught me that you don't get points for effort or good intentions, you get respect by following through and owning your stuff. That standard should still matter.

EEvan M.New Dad3w ago

Real talk though - taking responsibility is table stakes for being a dad. But calling out other guys for struggling doesn't actually help anyone. We should be lifting each other up while holding the line on accountability.

TTom R.Regular3w ago

Real talk. Accountability is what separates the guys who actually step up from the ones who just talk about it. Kids learn this by watching how their dad handles his own mistakes.

JJoshuaNew Dad3w ago

You're speaking truth here. I made my share of mistakes early on and excuses were easy, but owning them and moving forward is what actually changes things. That's the example our kids need to see.

EEric M.Regular3w ago

There's a difference between taking responsibility and being unrealistic about what we're dealing with. Yeah, own your mistakes, but also acknowledge that past trauma and mental health stuff affects how you show up as a dad.

LLuke M.Regular3w ago

The excuses thing is real but I also think we've made it okay to talk about mental health and past trauma, which is good. The line is whether you use that awareness to change or just as cover for not doing the work. Own your stuff and fix it.

PParkerNew Dad3w ago

This resonates with me a lot. Between night shifts and being a full-time dad, I've had to cut through the excuses in my own head and just do the work. No one cares about your reasons at 3 AM when the baby won't stop crying - you just handle it.

JJoeyRegular3w ago

I hear what you're saying but sometimes circumstances actually do matter. Life's not always about just pulling yourself up by your bootstraps. That said, I agree we should own our choices without making excuses.

EEvan M.New Dad3w ago

100% this. Seeing dads blame everything on their childhood or their job or bad luck instead of just saying 'I messed up and here's what I'm doing about it' is frustrating. Personal responsibility isn't complicated.

CChristopher M.New Dad3w ago

Agree that accountability matters but also context is real. Circumstances don't excuse everything but they're not nothing either. I think the sweet spot is owning your choices while also being honest about what led you there.