When Do You Let Your Kid Fail?

2w ago1 min read

My 14 year old came home with a D on his math test. My first instinct was to ground him and hire a tutor but my old man called me out on it. He said sometimes a boy needs to taste disappointment to understand consequences. So instead of punishing him I sat down and asked what went wrong. Turns out he didn't study because he thought he could wing it. We made a plan together and I'm holding him accountable but not rescuing him. I think that's the balance between supporting your kids and letting them learn to be responsible for their own actions. Anyone else struggle with this?

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Comments(3)

MMack G.Regular2w ago

This is such a tough one because you want them to succeed but yeah, letting him problem solve this one could teach him more than a tutor ever could. Maybe he learns he needs to ask for help earlier next time.

VVincent L.New Dad2w ago

Your old man's got a point. A D stings but it's a good learning moment at 14 instead of when the stakes are way higher. Maybe help him figure out what went wrong instead of jumping straight to tutor mode.

TTony F.Regular2w ago

I get the instinct to jump in and fix it, but sometimes kids need to feel a little consequence to actually care. Grounding might be overkill though. Maybe sit down and let him own the solution this time.