Wife wants me to cry more and I'm confused

1w ago1 min read

My wife said she wants me to be more emotional and cry when I'm sad instead of just staying stoic. Said it would help me process things better. I get what she means but there's something to being steady when your family needs you. I don't see crying as weakness but I also don't see it as strength. A man handles his responsibilities and shows up for his people. That's what matters. You can do that without falling apart. Maybe I'm old fashioned but I think that's still the right approach.

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Comments(9)

LLuke M.New Dad1w ago

I think what she might mean is she wants to feel connected to your feelings, not that you have to literally cry. Show her what's going on inside instead of just staying quiet. That vulnerability matters.

DDerekNew Dad1w ago

It's worth listening to her on this one. My kid actually felt safer opening up to me after he saw me handle disappointment instead of just brushing it off. Emotional resilience isn't the same as emotional suppression.

IIsaiah T.New Dad1w ago

Your wife might be onto something here. I was the same way until my oldest asked why I never got sad like she did. Turns out holding it all in just makes you irritable with the kids. Doesn't have to be dramatic, just letting yourself feel it helps.

MMark T.New Dad1w ago

Man, I get the confusion. Between work and keeping things running at home, I just push through too. But my wife said the same thing and honestly it's made me calmer around the kids. Give it a shot without overthinking it.

EEric M.Regular1w ago

This is worth listening to. I grew up where men didn't cry either and honestly I think it messed me up. My kids see me process emotions now and they're way better at handling their own feelings because of it.

LLuke M.New Dad1w ago

She's not asking you to fall apart. She's probably asking you to let her in on what's actually happening in your head. Being stoic all the time can feel like a wall to your partner. What happens if you try just being honest about a hard day?

JJayson H.New Dad1w ago

There's a middle ground between being a robot and falling apart. You can acknowledge sadness and be vulnerable without necessarily crying. Some guys process emotions differently and that's okay.

CChris M.Regular1w ago

I think what she's really saying is she wants to see more of you, not just the strong guy version. Crying isn't weak, it's just being human. My ex actually liked me more when I could talk about hard stuff instead of just handling everything silently.

EEric M.Regular1w ago

Your wife's got a point but she's also not seeing the full picture maybe. Stoicism isn't always bad, it's just different. Have you asked her what specifically she wants to see from you?