AITA for telling my wife I needed a mental health day?

Jan 141 min read

Took a sick day yesterday without telling her I was taking it for my mental health - I just said I wasn't feeling well. Spent the day alone, went for a long drive, sat in a coffee shop, and honestly felt like a human again. When she found out later she was mad that I didn't "tell her the truth" and said I should have communicated instead of lying. But also if I'd told her I needed mental health time she would have had a million questions and offered to "help" which isn't what I needed. Am I wrong for framing it as physical sickness when really I just needed to not be around anyone?

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Comments(5)

BBrandonNew DadJan 15

Mental health is legit but so is being a team with your spouse. She's probably upset about the dishonesty more than the day off. Have a real conversation about what you actually need from her and your arrangement.

BBrandonNew DadJan 15

NTA for the mental health day, we all need those. But the not telling her part is the issue. Next time just be upfront. 'Hey I'm gonna take Friday off for myself' is way easier than a lie that gets discovered later.

BBrian K.New DadJan 16

How often are you actually getting time to yourself though? If this is a one-off because you were drowning then I get it. If it's becoming a pattern of you avoiding being honest with her about what you need, that's a different conversation you two should have.

BBrian K.New DadJan 16

You're not the asshole for needing mental health day but you might be for not communicating it. She probably would've understood if you'd just told her straight up instead of it coming out later. That's the thing that stings more than the day off itself.

CChad R.RegularJan 17

Depends on whether she found out or you told her. If you just took the day and she never knew then fine. If she discovered it and felt lied to, that's different. Mental health matters but so does honesty in a marriage.