Anxiety about being a bad dad is worse than actual parenting

1w ago1 min read

I constantly worry that I'm screwing up my kids somehow. Like I'll have a normal day with them, nothing crazy happens, but then at night I'm laying in bed thinking about how I yelled about spilled juice or didn't listen when my son told me about his day because I was checking work emails. The anxiety spirals are getting worse and I can't shut my brain off. Went to my doctor and he suggested therapy but I haven't scheduled anything yet. Anyone else deal with this constant second guessing of themselves?

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Comments(7)

BBrandonNew Dad1w ago

I deal with this constantly. Had a normal Tuesday with my boys, nothing crazy, and then spent two days worried I'd damaged them somehow. It's exhausting and I know it's not rational but the anxiety doesn't care.

SStevenRegular1w ago

Man I feel this in my bones. Even when I know I'm doing okay, there's this voice saying I should be doing more or better. Learning to quiet that voice has been harder than any actual parenting challenge.

DDerekRegular1w ago

I live in this constant state of worry too. Like I'll have a totally normal day, we eat dinner, we play games, everything is fine, and then my brain goes 'but are you permanently damaging them somehow?' It's exhausting. Have you talked to anyone about the anxiety itself?

BBrandonNew Dad1w ago

This hit me hard because I do this exact thing. Normal day happens and then I spiral about whether I'm messing them up somehow. Started seeing a therapist about it and it's helped a lot. The fact that you're aware of it is honestly a good sign.

MMarkRegular1w ago

This anxiety is so hard to shake. You can have a great day with your kids and then one small thing happens and suddenly you're convinced you're messing everything up. Therapy helped me realize a lot of this is just my own stuff.

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BBrandonRegular1w ago

The anxiety about being a bad dad is honestly worse than any actual parenting challenge I face. I think a lot of us deal with this and it's worth addressing. If you're worried about it this much, you're probably doing better than you think.

MMiguelRegular1w ago

Bad dads don't worry about being bad dads. Just saying.