I'm constantly worried I'm screwing my kids up. Did I yell too much today? Am I too strict? Not strict enough? Don't spend enough time with them? I obsess over every parenting decision and I know it's anxiety talking but I can't stop. My wife says I'm a great dad but I don't believe her. Anyone deal with this? Started therapy but haven't found the right fit yet.
That loop in your head is real but it doesn't define you as a dad. I do pancake Sundays with my kids and some weeks I'm short with them and some weeks I'm patient - they remember the pancakes and the effort, not my bad days.
The fact that you're worried about this stuff means you're already doing better than you think. Kids are way more resilient than our anxiety gives them credit for.
Man I feel this in my soul. The self doubt is constant for me too. But here's what I've realized - the fact that you're worried about it means you're already thinking about it more than a bad dad would. Bad dads don't care. You care. That counts for something.
The fact that you're asking this question means you're way more thoughtful than you think. My therapist told me that perfect parenting doesn't exist but present parenting does. You're here, you're trying, you're reflecting. That's the job.
The anxiety is part of caring. I used to drive myself crazy with these same questions until I realized I was passing my stress onto my kids. Try talking to someone about it if you can. Changed my whole perspective on what 'good enough' actually means.
This hits different when you're doing the co-parenting thing because you feel like every interaction matters more. But real talk - your kids need to see you're human too. They need to see you get frustrated sometimes. The balance is what matters.
You're not screwing them up. I promise. The kids who have parents who worry about this stuff are actually doing fine.
I live in this headspace constantly. The worrying never really stops but I promise you're probably doing way better than you think. The fact that you're even asking these questions means you care enough to get it right. That's half the battle.
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I started journaling about these moments instead of just spiraling in my head. Like when I felt like I yelled too much, I'd write it down, think about why, and what I'd do different next time. Honestly changed everything for my anxiety. Might help you too.