Anxiety about being a good enough dad is eating me alive

1d ago1 min read

My therapist says I have health anxiety that's branched into parental anxiety and it's getting worse. Every time my kid sniffles I'm convinced they have something serious. Every mistake I make as a parent I obsess over for days thinking I've damaged them somehow. Last week I snapped at my daughter over something stupid and spent 3 days thinking I was destroying her self esteem. I know logically this doesn't make sense but I can't turn off the voice in my head. Started medication last month but it's slow going. Does anyone else deal with this or is it just me being crazy?

6 comments127 views

Comments(6)

PPhil M.Regular1d ago

Man, I feel this so much. Having kids across two homes meant I had to let go of some control or I'd drive myself crazy. The sniffles thing is real - my oldest gets a cough and my brain goes worst case scenario. Therapy helped me realize my anxiety was way bigger than any actual health issue.

MMason K.New Dad1d ago

You're already a good enough dad if you're worried about being one. I say that because the dads who aren't good enough don't care. The fact that you're in therapy working on this shows your kids you model taking mental health seriously, which honestly might be the best parenting move.

KKyle M.New Dad1d ago

The good news is therapy is working. You're catching this and addressing it. Way better than white knuckling through it for years. Stick with your therapist.

BBrad K.New Dad20h ago

Parental anxiety is brutal because you're responsible for an actual human. I spiral sometimes too about whether I'm doing enough. But then I remember my own dad wasn't perfect and I turned out fine. Your kid doesn't need perfect, they need present. Sounds like you're already doing that.

CChris M.New Dadjust now

This is hitting home hard. My therapist said the same thing about me and it took a while to accept that my overthinking doesn't make me a better dad, it just makes me exhausted. Are you on anything for it or just doing the therapy route?

CChristopher M.New Dad9h ago

The fact that you're aware of it and talking to a therapist puts you ahead of most people. Parental anxiety is real and it feeds itself. What does it look like for you? Like are you checking on your kid constantly or more catastrophic thinking?