Anyone else's anxiety spike when their kid starts a new school?

Dec 121 min read

My 6-year-old started first grade last week and I've been a complete mess. Keep refreshing the school's parent portal like 20 times a day, texting my wife questions about whether he's eating lunch, if he's made friends yet. I know it's irrational but I can't shake this feeling that something bad is gonna happen. Had to leave work early yesterday because I convinced myself he was sick. He was fine, obviously. Has anyone dealt with this? How do you actually stop the spiral?

9 comments127 views

Comments(9)

CCarl L.RegularDec 12

Try setting a rule like only checking portal once at pickup? I know it sounds stupid but my brain needed permission to stop. The refreshing is just anxiety looking for reassurance that never comes

DDominic E.RegularDec 13

The portal refreshing is real. I was doing it every 15 mins for my oldest's first week. Honestly the anxiety got better after like week 3 when I realized the teacher wasn't going to let him starve lol

RRich B.RegularDec 13

lol same, same, SAME. My kid's in first grade too and I've been texting my mom asking if I should send extra snacks. Wife told me to chill. The anxiety is real but honestly he's probably having way more fun than we think

SSam Y.RegularDec 14

Real talk - this is your anxiety, not about him. I say this with love. He's probably thriving and you refreshing the portal 20x a day is hurting YOU more than helping him. Maybe talk to someone about the anxiety itself?

GGabe R.RegularDec 13

The portal refreshing is killing me because I do the exact same thing. I set like 3 alarms to remind myself to stop checking. Have you thought about just calling the school once at pickup time instead? Might help break the refresh cycle

GGrant C.RegularDec 13

texting your wife about lunch is sending me 😂 My wife finally told me to stop asking if our 6yo 'seemed happy' in the pickup line photos. She was like dude if something was wrong the SCHOOL would call

VVic H.RegularDec 14

Yo same dude. My son started last month and I'm STILL checking the lunch menu to see what he ate. Wife says it's because I'm not working right now and have too much brain space. She's probably right

JJared C.RegularDec 14

This hit hard. I've been there and it's not really about the kid eating lunch - it's us realizing we can't control everything anymore. That was the scary part for me. Therapy helped more than anything

MMike T.RegularDec 15

I went through this hard with my oldest. What helped me was asking the teacher for ONE check-in time - like she'd text me after lunch. Just having that structured check-in made me stop obsessing. Took like 2 weeks to feel normal