Anyone else struggling with the pressure of being the strong one? | DadHQ

Anyone else struggling with the pressure of being the strong one?

JoshNew Dad

Aug 121 min read

Wife is dealing with postpartum stuff, kids need me to be steady, work is insane, and I'm just supposed to absorb all of it without complaint because that's what dads do right? Except I'm not doing great. I'm anxious all the time about money, whether I'm screwing up my kids, if I'm enough for my wife. The weight of being everyone's rock is crushing me but I can't exactly tell everyone I'm struggling because then the whole system falls apart. Anyone been here?

7 comments147 views

Comments(7)

MMatt R.Regular3w ago

The strong one thing is such a trap. Your kids need a dad who's doing okay more than they need a dad who never shows stress. It's okay to not be fine all the time.

VVic H.RegularAug 12

Real talk: the strong one still needs support. My wife and I made a deal early on that I get to have a hard day too and she's got my back. The pressure you're describing is real and it matters.

CChris M.RegularAug 12

You're carrying a lot right now man. Postpartum is real and the expectation that dads just absorb everything else is brutal. You don't have to be a rock all the time. Have you thought about talking to someone? I started therapy last year and it helped me realize I was burning out.

TTony M.RegularAug 12

This hits hard as a new dad. I thought I was supposed to just handle everything quietly too, but that's not how this actually works. You're allowed to struggle and ask for help.

TTim B.RegularAug 12

You don't have to absorb it all alone man. Being steady for your family doesn't mean you have nothing. Your wife needs you present, not invincible. Talk to someone about the weight you're carrying.

SScott M.Regular3w ago

Real talk - being the strong one while everything is chaos is a recipe for breaking down. Have you got anyone you can vent to or even just take a break with? You need support too.

JJake M.Regular3w ago

This resonates so much. When my wife was dealing with postpartum depression I felt like I had to be everything - supporter, parent, worker, the stable one. But honestly I was barely holding it together. You're not alone in this feeling.