Back to school anxiety is hitting different this year

Nov 291 min read

8yo starting 3rd grade and I'm weirdly stressed about it. Not about his adjustment—he's excited and outgoing. But I'm having these intrusive thoughts about something bad happening during the day and I won't be there. School shooter stuff, accidents, whatever. I KNOW the stats and I KNOW I'm being irrational but the thoughts are loud. I've never been like this before. Wife thinks I should talk to someone but I don't want to be "that guy." Idk. Anyone dealt with sudden new anxiety like this?

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Comments(9)

SStan D.Regularjust now

I had this exact thing when my kid started kindergarten. The intrusive thoughts were brutal. What actually helped was talking to his teacher about emergency procedures—not in an overbearing way, just knowing the plan made my brain shut up a little bit. Might be worth asking the school what their actual protocols are.

MMark A.Regularjust now

The irony is that being anxious about it doesn't actually make him safer, it just makes you miserable all day. Have you tried the Headspace app? There's a whole meditation series on anxiety spirals that's weirdly helpful.

GGabe R.Regular19h ago

The fact that you can recognize 'I KNOW I'm being irrational' is actually huge though. That's the thing that separates managing anxiety from being eaten by it. Still sucks though, sorry man.

DDerek P.Regular11h ago

Real question - is this new for you or have you had anxiety before? Because if it's new the school transition might just be triggering something that was always there. Might be worth a therapy session just to get some actual tools.

DDanny G.Regular7h ago

This is real and honestly more common than you'd think. The intrusive thoughts + school stuff combo is brutal. Have you talked to someone about it or just managing with breathing exercises? Because that level of anxiety deserves more than just white-knuckling through it.

RReggie K.New Dadjust now

Honestly this is so common among parents that the fact you're self-aware about the irrationality is like, the sign you're handling it better than you think. Does it help at all knowing that the school thing has specific safety protocols?

SSam T.New Dadjust now

Not a therapist but this sounds like anxiety that might actually benefit from talking to someone. Not because anything's wrong with you, but because intrusive thoughts are treatable and you don't have to just live with that background hum of dread.

MMike T.Regular2h ago

I get this. You KNOW statistically he's fine but your brain does the thing anyway. Have you tried the Headspace app or anything? Some people swear by it for exactly this kind of spiral.

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MMatt D.Regular1d ago

The intrusive thought spiral is real and I hate it. Your brain is basically like "here's a .0001% possibility, let's catastrophize it CONSTANTLY" and the logic part of your brain is screaming. Have you talked to someone about it or just white-knuckling through? Because the fact that you KNOW it's irrational doesn't actually make it stop, which is the worst part.