Back to sleep meds after a year off - second thoughts

I stopped taking my melatonin + occasional ambien about a year ago because I wanted to "beat" my insomnia naturally. lol. That did not work. I'm back to sleeping like 5 hours a night, which tanks my mood and makes everything worse. Started back on the meds yesterday and slept 8 solid hours. Feeling like I need to stop trying to tough things out and just use the tools that work. Why is that so hard to accept?