Work has been insane (software dev, constant crunch), and I have a 2yo and a 5yo at home. Haven't slept more than 5 hours a night in probably 6 months. My patience is gone. My body aches. I snapped at my wife over her asking what I wanted for lunch. I know I need to make changes but I'm so tired I can't even think about what those changes would be. Anyone else been here? How did you climb out?
The fact that you recognize the burnout is actually good - means you can still see the problem. But you gotta do something NOW. Can you take a week off? Can you push back on work? Something has to give and it shouldn't be your mental health.
Software dev + 2yo + 5yo + 5 hours sleep = recipe for snapping at your kids. That's not a character flaw, that's sleep deprivation. You need to make sleep non-negotiable ASAP or you're gonna regret how you handle situations.
Your kids don't need you at maximum performance. They need you present and not angry. 5 hours a night of sleep means you're running on fumes and your patience is rightfully gone. This is the moment to change something, not white-knuckle through.
5 hours a night for 6 months is not sustainable. Your body is literally breaking down. You need to talk to your manager about the crunch because you're headed for actual burnout territory if you're not already there.
How much of that crunch is actually necessary vs just work culture? Because I'd bet money if you set boundaries and said 'I'm logging off at 6pm,' they'd survive. Your family needs you more than they need you at the office until midnight.
Sign in to join the conversation.
I was in your exact situation two years ago. Same job, same age kids. It got worse before I fixed it. Talk to your boss about the crunch, talk to your partner about dividing nights so you each get more sleep, talk to someone about the burnout. Do it soon.