Wake up, commute, work, come home, parent solo while wife's in meetings, bedtime routine, repeat. Weekends are just catching up on chores and meal prep. I literally cannot remember the last time I did something just for me that wasn't scrolling Reddit at 11pm. I think I'm depressed but also maybe just... done? Everything feels gray. Is this what burnout feels like or am I actually messed up?
Real talk: solo parenting while your partner works is basically two full-time jobs. Of course you're burned out. This isn't about you being weak or needing to optimize better - you're actually doing too much. Can your wife take one full weekday evening where you literally just disappear for 2 hours? Even that helps.
Have you talked to your wife about this? Because "wife's in meetings" during solo parenting time is the actual problem here, not your energy levels. The structure is broken, not you.
I was in this exact cycle. Got counseling and the therapist basically said I needed to stop waiting for permission to take a break. Started going to the gym 3x a week even though it felt selfish. It wasn't selfish - it was the only thing keeping me functional. Do something for yourself that's not productive.
The meal prep on weekends is part of the problem too btw. Can you skip that some weeks? Just eat more takeout or simpler stuff? I know it feels wasteful but your mental health is worth more than saving $50 on groceries.
The fact that you can't remember the last time you did something for yourself is the red flag. You're not tired, you're depleted. That's a whole different thing. Tired gets better with sleep. Depleted needs structural change.
been there. for us it took me actually breaking down to my wife about how unsustainable it was. she didn't realize I was going through all that. now we have 2 nights a week where one parent fully "clocks out" and the other handles everything. not perfect but way better.
I was exactly here 8 months ago. Literally couldn't remember the last time I left the house for myself. What changed: I scheduled one night a week where I just... left. Coffee shop for an hour, gym, didn't matter. Made it non-negotiable. Game changer for my mental health.
This hits different because you're describing being on the hamster wheel, not living. Have you actually sat down with your wife and mapped out what needs to change? Sometimes partners don't realize how bad it is until you say it out loud.
This is the one that breaks me because it's so relatable. The solo parenting while partner's in meetings is the worst - you can't fully clock out of work OR parenting. You're just... stuck in purgatory.
The meal prep thing - can you simplify this? Like, rotisserie chicken + frozen veggies + rice for half your meals? You're burning burnout calories trying to be perfect about food when you're already drowning.
Real talk: you need to talk to your wife about this being unsustainable. Not blaming her but if she's in meetings every weeknight while you're solo parenting, something has to give. Weekends are NOT rest if you're meal prepping.
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This is the trap though - you're waiting for a weekend to have free time but then weekends fill up with the stuff you couldn't do during the week. It spirals. You gotta protect some actual off time or you'll burn out completely. Even just 2 hours on a Sunday where nobody asks anything of you.