Work's been insane, kids are in sports 4 nights a week, haven't had sex with my wife in like 3 months, can't remember the last time I did something just for me. Yesterday I realized I've been having a tension headache for 2 weeks straight. This isn't sustainable but I don't know how to slow down without feeling like I'm dropping the ball somewhere. Feel trapped tbh.
I was here last year. Literally same thing—sports schedule was insane, work was crushing me, hadn't touched my wife in months. We made a hard decision to pull one kid out of one activity. Life changed immediately. Do it.
The sex thing is real but honestly the bigger red flag is you can't remember the last time you did something for YOU. That's burnout talking. Cut something. One sport can wait a year. One work project can delegate. Something's gotta give.
4 nights a week of sports is excessive. I know you probably didn't plan it that way but yeah, that's your problem right there. Talk to your wife about cutting ONE activity. Your marriage and your mental health are worth it.
The 3 months thing hit me hard. I realized the same thing last month and it actually scared me a bit. Have you talked to your wife about it or are you both just too exhausted? Asking because I brought it up and she was relieved—turns out she was feeling disconnected too, not mad.
3 months is a long time. That's not just 'life is busy'—that's a sign something needs to change. Even 15 minutes of alone time is better than nothing. What's one thing you could actually drop?
Have you actually told your wife how you're feeling? Not 'I'm tired' but like, the full picture? She might not realize you're at a breaking point. This is fixable but it needs both of you.
I went through this exact thing 2 years ago. Ended up taking 2 Fridays off a month just to sit at a coffee shop by myself. Sounds stupid but that 4 hours made everything else manageable. Not saying that fixes it but something has to give and it shouldn't be your marriage.
4 nights a week of sports is a lot. Does it have to be all 4? Genuinely asking—might be worth having a convo with the kids about picking 1-2 they actually love vs just going to everything.
lol the "haven't had a" cut off made me think you were about to say something dark but honestly burnout is dark. You need to drop something. Can't sustain all of this. What's one thing that could go?
The fact that you're even noticing this is good. Sounds like you need to talk to your wife ASAP though. Don't let it fester. 3 months suggests both of you are running on empty.
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Having the thought 'I've been having a...' and not finishing it makes me think this is more serious than just tired. You ok? Like actually. Sometimes burnout turns into something worse if you don't address it.