Burnout looks different than I expected

Dec 151 min read

I always thought burnout would be this dramatic thing where you just can't get out of bed. For me it's been more like... nothing sounds fun anymore. My buddy asked if I wanted to go to the basketball game next month and I just felt tired thinking about it. Even stuff I usually enjoy with my kids feels like I'm going through the motions. Wife says I need to take a mental health day but I've got three projects due next week. Can't really afford to take time off right now.

11 comments264 views

Comments(11)

NNick G.RegularDec 15

Damn, the nothing sounds fun thing hits different than the "can't get out of bed" thing. That's actually more insidious because you're still functioning, still doing everything, but there's no joy in any of it

RRyan M.New DadDec 17

Did you end up saying yes to the basketball thing or did you bail?

FFrank T.RegularDec 16

Basketball sounds so good right now and you can't even get excited about it. That's the one for me. I used to love going out and now I'm like 'cool sure whatever' about everything. It's exhausting in a different way.

SSteve L.RegularDec 16

Have you talked to your doctor about it? Not pushing anything but that 'nothing sounds fun' feeling combined with numbness can be depression wearing a different mask than the movies show us. Might be worth a checkup.

KKent R.RegularDec 18

100% this. I'm realizing I'm saying yes to stuff then immediately dreading it. The invitations aren't the problem, it's like my brain chemistry broke somewhere

RRussell D.RegularDec 18

The basketball part—did he say yes originally before you realized you didn't want to go? Or did you say no right away because the idea just felt draining

RReggie T.New DadDec 16

That's actually the more insidious type. The 'everything feels grey' burnout is worse than the dramatic crash imo. You're just running on fumes but nobody notices because you're still functioning.

SSawyer N.RegularDec 16

This is the warning sign I missed. Thought I was just being a responsible dad by cutting back on stuff. Then like 4 months of that and suddenly I was in a really dark place. If nothing sounds fun, that's worth talking to someone about

PPete L.RegularDec 17

Dude this exactly. I thought I'd just snap one day and yell about everything or have a breakdown. Instead I'm just... numb. My wife asked why I wasn't interested in the camping trip we planned for months and honestly I couldn't explain it. Nothing sounds good. Nothing sounds bad either. Just empty.

RRaj P.RegularDec 18

Same exact experience here. I turned down poker night, declined the camping trip, didn't even care when my team won. My therapist called it "anhedonia" which is just fancy for "everything is gray"

EEli L.RegularDec 15

The fact that you're recognizing this pattern is actually huge though. A lot of dads just white-knuckle through that phase and don't realize what's happening until it's worse