Depression hit different after becoming a dad

3w ago1 min read

Had depression on and off for years but man it's a whole different thing now. I can't just lay in bed all day when I have a 2 year old depending on me. I'm pushing through but some days I feel like I'm faking being okay just to not worry my family. Started therapy again last month and it's helping but I wanted to see if other dads experience this. Like the weight of responsibility makes it harder to deal with your own mental health.

11 comments215 views

Comments(11)

KKevinNew Dad3w ago

This resonates with me so much. Pre-kids depression was like something I could manage. Post-kids it feels like there's this weight because I can't just check out anymore. They need me to be present even when my brain is telling me to hide.

DDave M.New Dad3w ago

You're not alone in this. The responsibility of being the person they depend on can amplify depression like crazy. I've been on medication for a couple years now and it's made a huge difference in how present I can be.

EEvan M.Regular3w ago

This is really important to say out loud and I'm glad you did. A lot of us go through this. The responsibility of having kids can trigger depression in a totally different way than before. You're not weak for struggling with this. Please reach out to a therapist or your doctor if you haven't already.

VVincentRegular3w ago

Have you talked to your wife about how bad it's been? Sometimes they don't realize unless you spell it out. I bottled mine up and it got worse before I finally said something.

RReggie K.Regular3w ago

Man, I feel this. Some nights I want to just check out but then my son asks me to read with him and suddenly I'm present again. That little person keeps me going when my brain wants to quit.

FFinn M.Regular3w ago

This hits different when they're depending on you. Everything is new for me with my baby but I already see how that responsibility pulls you up when you're down. Hang in there.

SSean A.Regular3w ago

Real talk, that responsibility of having your kid depend on you changes everything. It forced me to get help and actually stick with it instead of just white knuckling through it. You're doing the right thing by not giving in to it.

DDanielExperienced3w ago

I started medication again after my kids were born because I realized I couldn't parent them properly when I was in a depressive episode. There's no shame in that. If you need chemical help to be the dad you want to be, get it.

CCarlosRegular3w ago

Have you talked to your doctor about postpartum or paternal depression? A lot of people don't realize it's a real thing for dads too. Might be worth exploring if you haven't already.

CCarlos M.Regular3w ago

Real talk, seeking help isn't just for you anymore either. Your kids benefit when you're in a better place mentally. That's not selfish, that's actually one of the best things you can do for them.

PPaulRegular3w ago

I've dealt with depression my whole life too and becoming a dad absolutely changed the game. You can't just check out when things get dark because there are tiny humans depending on you. That said, please talk to someone about this. Your kids need you healthy.