My 6 year old asked me to play with him yesterday and I just couldn't do it. I felt so empty and tired. He looked disappointed and went off to play alone. I hate that I can't show up the way I want to for my kids. I'm in a rough spot mentally and I feel like I'm failing them. Any dads dealing with this?
Don't beat yourself up too much. With four kids I've definitely had stretches where I'm going through the motions and not really present. The empty and tired feeling you're describing sounds like something worth talking to a doctor about. You deserve to feel better, and your kids need their dad healthy more than they need perfect playtime.
Man, I hear you. I've been there and those moments where you just can't show up the way you want to really hurt. The fact that you're aware of it and feeling bad about it means you care deeply. Have you talked to someone about what you're dealing with? You don't have to white-knuckle through this alone.
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Depression is no joke, brother. I've had days where I'm running the kids around to games and practices but I'm mentally checked out the whole time. One thing that helped me was being honest with my kids in age-appropriate ways and then working on getting help. Your 6 year old will understand more than you think if you explain that daddy's having a tough time.