This is tough to admit but some days I'm just going through the motions with my kids. They want to play catch or go to the park and I'm just exhausted. Not physically tired but like my brain won't engage. I feel like I'm failing them. My wife doesn't really get it. Started antidepressants about 6 weeks ago and waiting for them to kick in. Anyone else dealt with this? Does it get better?
You're being honest about it, and that takes guts. The fact that you're even thinking about being present means you care. Have you talked to your doctor about what you're experiencing? No shame in getting some support.
Depression is real and it's tough to deal with while trying to be there for the kids. Have you thought about talking to someone professional? Not just for you but so you can actually enjoy those moments with them.
The fact that you're admitting this and looking for help says a lot about your character. Your kids need you present, but you need to take care of yourself first. Reach out to someone.
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Going through the motions some days doesn't make you a bad dad. I have days where I'm just surviving too, man. But showing up is half the battle.