Does anyone else feel guilty for wanting alone time? | DadHQ

Does anyone else feel guilty for wanting alone time?

Jan 121 min read

I genuinely love my kids (3yo twins) but sometimes I just need to NOT be around anyone. I'll go sit in my car in the driveway for 20 mins and my brain finally quiets down. My wife thinks I'm avoiding the kids but honestly it's the opposite—I need that reset so I can actually be present with them instead of just... existing in frustration. Feeling weirdly guilty about it though like I should be thrilled to spend every second with them. Real talk: is this normal or am I selfish?

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Comments(5)

MMasonNew DadJan 12

You're not alone in this at all. I have 4 year old twins and I literally sit in my car in the garage for 15 minutes after work sometimes just to decompress. The guilt is real but it's also completely normal. You can't pour from an empty cup.

OOmar S.RegularJan 13

This is such a real thing. I used to feel like a bad dad for wanting time to myself until my own dad told me he'd hide in the basement for hours when we were kids. He was actually a great parent. Taking care of yourself isn't selfish.

AAndrew T.New DadJan 13

Dude, wanting alone time doesn't mean you don't love your kids. I love mine more than anything and I still need like 2 hours on a Sunday to just exist without someone asking me for something. Maybe set up a regular thing where you get that time so you're not sneaking around feeling guilty.

HHector R.RegularJan 12

The fact that you feel guilty means you're already a caring dad. Bad parents don't worry about this stuff. Get yourself a regular break, even if it's just one hour a week locked in a bedroom with headphones. Your mental health matters too.

MMatt J.RegularJan 14

Three year old twins is absolutely brutal. I had twin 2 year olds for a while and I honestly think I was going insane by week 3. You needing alone time isn't weakness, it's survival. Every parent of multiples I know feels this way.