Feeling like a failure as a dad

2w ago·1 min read

My son is 3 and some days I feel like I'm completely screwing him up. I yell too much, I'm not patient, I work too much, I'm not there enough. My wife says I'm being too hard on myself but I genuinely don't know if I'm doing anything right. Started having panic attacks about this stuff. My therapist says it's perfectionism mixed with anxiety but knowing that doesn't stop the feelings. Anyone been in this headspace?

4 comments231 views

Comments(4)

BBrettNew Dad1w ago

The patience tank runs dry quick with a three year old. Give yourself some grace. You showing up and caring about being better is already you being a good dad.

DDerekNew Dad1w ago

Man, three year olds bring out the yeller in all of us. The fact that you're feeling bad about it means you care. I've had plenty of days where I yelled more than I wanted to, then apologized to my son that night. That apology matters more than you think.

RRobertNew Dad2w ago

You're not screwing him up. Seriously. Three year olds are basically tiny dictators designed to test your patience. The days you lose it are normal. What matters is you're here, you're trying, and you're thinking about it.

TThomasNew Dad1w ago

I used to feel exactly like this. Started taking deep breaths before I yelled, left the room when I felt it coming on. Wasn't perfect but it helped. You've got this.