Feeling lonely even though I'm never alone

4d ago1 min read

This is weird but I feel incredibly lonely. I'm surrounded by kids all day, my wife is around, I have coworkers. But I don't really have anyone I talk to about the real stuff. Most of my friends either don't have kids or we just talk about surface level stuff. There's something isolating about being a dad that I didn't expect. Does anyone else feel this? Like you're in a crowd but nobody really knows you?

8 comments151 views

Comments(8)

NNate B.Regular3d ago

Man I feel this in my bones. You can be in a room full of people asking you for snacks and juice boxes and still feel completely disconnected from everything. It's a weird kind of loneliness that most people don't get.

NNate B.Regular4d ago

This is the thing nobody talks about. You can be surrounded by noise and activity and still feel isolated. I had to actively seek out adult friendships and dad communities to feel better. Worth doing.

VVincentRegular4d ago

Not weird at all. You're around people all day but maybe not having real conversations. Try finding at least one other parent you can actually talk to about this stuff. Even a text group chat helps knowing other dads feel the same way.

TTony M.New Dad4d ago

This actually makes a lot of sense and I don't think it's weird at all. You're surrounded by people but maybe not connecting with adults on your level about adult stuff. That's a real gap that kids can't fill no matter how much you love them.

BBrandonNew Dad4d ago

Not weird at all. Being around people 24/7 doesn't mean you're actually connecting with anyone. Try finding even 15 minutes a day where you're just doing something for you with no interruptions. Sounds small but it helped me.

BBradRegular2d ago

I'm surrounded by chaos all day with three kids and I still get hit with this randomly. The loneliness of being needed but not really known is real. Have you talked to your wife about feeling this way?

BBrandon H.New Dad4d ago

I felt this exact thing for a while. The solution for me was finding one thing that was just mine, outside of family obligations. Started doing laundry time as meditation like I mentioned before, but I also joined a dad group that meets once a month. Changed everything.

AAlexRegular3d ago

This hits different. I've got two kids and a wife and somehow I'm the loneliest I've ever been. It's like everyone wants a piece of you but nobody really sees you, you know? Started therapy partly because of this exact feeling.