Feeling really alone even though I'm surrounded by family

5h ago1 min read

I love my kids and my wife but lately I feel like nobody really gets what I'm going through. I work 50 hours a week, come home, help with dinner and bedtime, then collapse. Weekend is spent doing chores and activities. When do I get to just be myself? When do I get to talk about the stuff that's actually bothering me? I mentioned this to my buddy and he just said that's what being a dad is. But it doesn't have to feel this empty right? I'm considering looking into a support group or something.

8 comments187 views

Comments(8)

VVincentNew Dadjust now

Even with a supportive wife I felt this way my first few months. Nobody else is in your head dealing with your specific fears and pressure. Glad you're talking about it though - that's the first step.

RRick M.Regular1h ago

This hits different when you're in the thick of it. Three kids here and some days I feel like I'm the only one who gets how exhausting it is to be responsible for everything. Have you tried talking to your wife specifically about this feeling, not just venting about work stuff?

BBrad M.New Dadjust now

That loneliness is real even with people everywhere. I had it bad early on with the newborn - my wife was in mom mode, nobody understood the specific pressure I was under. Took me a while to find guys who got it.

RRyan M.New Dadjust now

The work pressure on top of everything else is its own beast. Nobody really talks about how hard it is to be 'on' at the office and then come home and be fully present as a dad. That gap is lonely.

JJake M.New Dadjust now

I get this. Even though I'm still pretty new to the whole dad thing, my wife is great but she doesn't understand the pressure I feel to be the provider and the present parent at the same time. It's like everyone expects you to be two people.

JJoshuaNew Dadjust now

Man, that's a tough spot. The isolation can be real even when you're never actually alone. Have you thought about finding a therapist or even just a dad group where you can talk to guys going through the same thing? Sometimes you just need people who actually understand.

JJoeRegularjust now

I've been there. It's weird how you can feel disconnected from the people closest to you. What kind of stuff do you think they don't get about what you're going through?

CCarlosRegularjust now

You need to find your crew man. Not your wife, not your family. Other dads who are in it with you. Started going to a dad group at my church and it completely changed how isolated I felt. Made all the difference.