I've been having a lot of anxiety lately about whether I'm actually doing right by my kids. Like I work long hours and when I come home I'm tired and short with them sometimes. Then I lie awake at night thinking about all the times I got frustrated or didn't play with them enough. My wife says I'm being too hard on myself but the thoughts just keep coming. Anyone else deal with this?
The anxiety you're describing is actually something I talk about with a therapist regularly. Single parenting can amplify these feelings big time. Have you thought about talking to someone professional? Not because anything's wrong with you, but because having that support makes a real difference.
Three kids here and I've been in that exact headspace. What helped me was realizing quality beats quantity every time. Even 20 minutes of real attention when you get home matters more than eight hours of being physically there but mentally checked out.
Being a new dad to three, I'm learning that the anxiety you're feeling is actually love. The tired part gets easier as they get older and you find your rhythm. You're doing better than you think.
Man, I get this every single day after work. The fact that you're worried about being good enough means you already are. My kids don't remember the hours I worked, they remember when I'm actually present with them on the weekends. That's what counts.
This is real and valid. With three kids I constantly second-guess myself on different stuff every single day. But here's what I learned: they just want you present and trying. That's it. You're showing up, you're thinking about it, you're in the arena. That's everything.
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Man, I feel this in my soul. I've been there too, lying awake at 3am wondering if I'm messing them up somehow. What helped me was realizing that the fact you're even worried about being good enough means you probably are. The parents who don't care? They're not posting on forums about their anxiety. You're doing better than you think.