Getting angry at my kids over stupid stuff

Dec 41 min read

This is embarrassing but my 8yo spilled juice and I literally yelled at him like he'd done something terrible. It wasn't even that much juice. He looked terrified. I feel like garbage. This is the third time this month I've blown up over something small and I can't figure out why I'm like this now. I'm not normally a yeller. Am I just burning out? Is this normal dad stuff or do I need to talk to someone?

12 comments477 views

Comments(12)

VVic H.RegularDec 5

Hey man, the fact that you feel bad about it means you're a good dad. That moment of "oh crap I messed up" is actually important. Did you apologize to him afterwards?

BBob G.RegularDec 7

the terrified look is the real wake-up call. kids need to know they're safe in their own home. if you're noticing a pattern maybe talk to a therapist about anger management - not because you're a bad person but because you deserve to feel less angry all the time

SSteve B.RegularDec 5

This happened to me for like 2 months straight before I realized I needed to actually address my own mental health. Got in therapy, started exercising, and the angry outbursts basically stopped. The juice incident didn't change, but my reaction did

CChris P.RegularDec 5

did you apologize and explain that it wasn't his fault? That's actually the important part. Kids will forgive the yelling if they know it wasn't about them

MMarcus J.RegularDec 5

One thing that helped me: I told my kids "when I yell it's not because YOU did something bad, sometimes daddy's brain is just frustrated and I'm working on that." Doesn't excuse it but it helped them understand it's not about them being bad kids

PPhil B.RegularDec 6

I've done this exact thing. It's not about the juice, it's usually about stress building up from other stuff during the day. Worth checking in with yourself about what else was going on when it happened

AAndy T.RegularDec 6

Hey you recognized it and you feel bad - that's literally the only thing that matters here. My 7yo spilled an entire bowl of cereal last week and I went nuclear over nothing. The fact that you see it means you'll probably do better next time.

GGabe R.RegularDec 6

The terrified look is the thing that changes everything. After my son looked at me like that I actually sat down and apologized, explained that MY brain was cranky not his fault, and it actually opened a conversation. He was way more understanding than I deserved.

MMatt S.RegularDec 7

Same exact thing happened to me last month. Turns out I was just exhausted and hadn't slept well. Doesn't excuse it but understanding the trigger helped. Do you notice it happens more at certain times of day or when certain things pile up?

RReggie K.New DadDec 7

This hits different when they get that terrified look. It stays with you for days, right? The juice thing is such a small deal but the yelling response is about YOUR stress level that day, not about the juice. Have you been running on fumes?

RRon D.New DadDec 7

Not to armchair therapist you but this pattern of 'getting angry over small stuff' is worth paying attention to. Might be worth talking to someone just to build better habits before it becomes a regular thing. One incident isn't a pattern but the awareness you're showing is healthy.

GGreg H.RegularDec 5

We started doing this thing where I literally tell my kids 'Dad's brain is tired, not your fault, I'm gonna take a 10 minute break' and it changed everything. Models emotional regulation instead of just exploding. Worth trying?