How do you ask for help without feeling weak? | DadHQ

How do you ask for help without feeling weak?

Dec 231 min read

This is something I genuinely struggle with. Growing up it was kind of beaten into me that you handle your own stuff. You don't burden people with your problems. So now as an adult and a dad, admitting I need help - whether that's mental health stuff or just needing a break - feels like admitting failure.

I know that's not logical but knowing it doesn't change the feeling. How did you guys get past this?

6 comments441 views

Comments(6)

SStan D.RegularDec 24

Start small. Ask your partner for something specific ("Can you handle bedtime tonight so I can decompress?") instead of vague ("I need help"). Specific asks are easier and they actually help you.

RRob P.RegularDec 24

Genuine question: do you have anyone in your life you actually trust enough to practice with? Because asking for help is a skill and it helps to start with lower-stakes asks before you get to the big ones.

CChris F.RegularDec 24

That "beaten into me" part is real. A lot of us grew up where asking for help = weakness. But dude, you're not that kid anymore. You're a dad now and your kids LEARN how to handle hard stuff by watching you. Asking for help teaches them it's okay.

RRob K.RegularDec 26

The weakness feeling goes away once you actually ask for help and realize nobody thinks less of you. First time is terrifying, second time is easier. Keep doing it and it becomes normal. You literally reprogram yourself.

TTravis N.RegularDec 23

This is vulnerability and it IS hard, but it's also strength. Actually harder than pretending you've got everything under control. Takes way more courage to be honest about struggling.

NNolan J.RegularDec 26

The burden thing - here's a reframe. When someone you care about is struggling and won't ask for help, that's actually MORE burdensome than them just being direct about it. Because now you're worried and guessing. Ask for help and you're actually making people's lives easier.