Like obviously I love my boys (7 and 10) but there are days where I resent the hell out of them. Resent that I can't just go do my own thing, resent that my free time is gone, resent that I have to be "on" all the time. I feel guilty saying that out loud so I haven't told anyone except now random internet dads. Anyone else experience this or am I broken?
Yeah this is real. I resent my 7yo sometimes for interrupting me and then feel guilty about resenting him which is its own spiral. But I think it's ok to feel it as long as you're not taking it out on him. You're human, not a machine.
it's normal and saying it out loud is actually brave. the resentment usually means your reserves are empty. hard to love your kids fully when you haven't peed alone in 72 hours. that's not a character flaw, that's burnout.
the resent cycle is brutal because then you feel like garbage for resenting kids who didn't ask to be here and didn't do anything wrong. they're just being kids. but that doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid. they are.
replying above - guilt about the resentment is the worst part honestly. like at least if I could just resent them without the shame spiral it'd be easier. but that guilt means you actually love them, so there's that.
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big question: are you getting ANY regular time that's just yours? because resentment usually comes from zero exit valves. if you literally never get to do your own thing, of course you're gonna resent the thing stopping you from doing your own thing.
replying to the alone time question - THIS. I thought I was broken till someone told me I was just running on fumes. started trading off Friday nights with my wife and the resentment dropped like 80%. turns out I just needed to be a person sometimes.