Is it normal to resent your partner sometimes? | DadHQ

Is it normal to resent your partner sometimes?

Dec 231 min read

Not like relationship-ending resentment but like... she gets to sleep in on weekends and I'm up with the kids. She has friend time, I don't. She went to yoga twice last week and I haven't had 30 minutes alone in I can't remember when. Then she gets frustrated that I'm "checked out emotionally."

Tbh I'm just exhausted and I don't know how to explain that without it turning into an argument. Anyone else deal with this dynamic?

6 comments211 views

Comments(6)

MMiles B.New DadDec 23

This is the stuff that kills marriages slowly. Not dramatic fights, just this constant low-level frustration about fairness. You gotta actually talk about it and make changes, not just accept it as "how it is with kids."

CCarl D.RegularDec 25

You gotta demand the 30 minutes same way she books yoga. Like actually put it on the calendar. "Resentment" is what happens when you're hoping someone notices you need a break instead of just telling them.

AArchie M.RegularDec 24

That's not resentment about her specifically though - that's resentment about the unequal load you're carrying. Big difference. Have you actually mapped out all the stuff you're doing vs what she's doing? Sometimes partners genuinely don't see it.

GGary R.RegularDec 23

The yoga twice a week comment hit different for me. My wife does that and I'm genuinely happy for her, but I'd be lying if I didn't feel some jealousy. Like I want 90 minutes of peace and movement too but I'm already up at 5:30.

RRich B.RegularDec 24

The friend time thing is what gets me. My wife has a standing weekly dinner and I'm like... when's my standing something? Turns out never, which was a fun realization.

MMitch R.RegularDec 24

Completely normal and honestly a red flag if you're NEVER feeling it. The sleep-in difference alone would do it for me. That needs to be addressed though before it becomes actual relationship poison.