I work remote and most of my friends either moved or just drifted away after we had kids. My wife is great but I feel like I don't have anyone to just hang out with and talk to like I used to. Missing my buddies but when I reach out it feels forced. Is this just what being a dad is? Anyone found good ways to build actual friendships as an adult because I'm clearly bad at it.
The remote work thing is a double edged sword isn't it. You're home more but then you're just stuck in the house. Maybe try a co-working space one or two days a week just to be around other people?
This hits different when your wife is busy with the kids too. You end up feeling alone even when you're literally never alone, if that makes sense. Have you tried talking to your wife about needing some adult time?
The drift after kids is real, but you can rebuild it. Started coaching my kids' sports and suddenly had other dads to talk to beyond just schedules. Might not replace old friends but it fills the void a little.
Remote work is tough for this exact reason. I'd say find even one dad group or hobby thing you can do weekly, even if it's just meeting someone for coffee before work. Having one person outside the family to check in with changes everything.
This hits hard. My friend group basically evaporated after I had kids. What helped me was being intentional about finding new dad friends. It's different but honestly some of my best friends now are other dads.
The drifting away thing is real. All your friends without kids are still living their old life and you're in a totally different phase now. Maybe it's time to build a new crew of people who get this life stage.
Have you talked to your wife about this? Sometimes they don't realize how isolated we feel. Might be worth getting some dedicated dad time built into your schedule just for your mental health.
I feel this so hard. With a newborn I barely have time to think, let alone maintain friendships. The friends without kids just don't get it anymore.
Remote work was supposed to be the dream but man, it can be isolating. Have you thought about trying to find a dad group in your area? Even just one other person you can grab coffee with once a week makes a difference.
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Remote work isolation plus new dad isolation is a double whammy. Have you thought about trying to connect with other dads in your area? There's usually dad groups that do stuff on weekends.