Before kids I had my friends, we'd go out whenever. Now I'm home with the kids while everyone else is still doing their thing. My wife gets her adult interaction at work but I'm mainly with the kids all day. By the time they're in bed I'm too tired to hang out with anyone. Do other stay at home dads deal with this? How do you combat the isolation?
I get it. Before kids my friends were everything and now half the time I'm too tired to even text them back. But the friends worth keeping are the ones who understand you have 3 kids now and still want to see you. Those friendships look different but they're still there.
The loneliness is real and nobody warns you about it enough. You're not alone in feeling alone, weirdly enough. I've had to be intentional about finding other dads to connect with because that friendship dynamic changes when your whole life is about your kids.
Yeah, this hits different post-kids. My buddies still want to grab beers at 8pm and I'm like... my kids might actually let me sleep past 6 if I'm lucky, I can't commit to that. The tradeoff is real but you gotta find your people - other dads who get it.
Co-parenting taught me that you have to actively carve out time for yourself and your friendships or you lose them completely. Can you get one night a week or every other week where you can grab coffee or do something with your friends? Even 90 minutes makes a difference.
Man, I feel this hard. My son is 18 months old and I've basically become a hermit. My buddies still text about their plans and I'm over here covered in applesauce trying to remember what day it is. The isolation sneaks up on you.
This is real. I went from weekend hikes with my crew to being tied down every Friday night. What helped for me was finding one friend who actually gets it now. We do early morning runs before the kids wake up. Not the same but at least I see another adult who isn't my wife.
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Have you tried setting up a regular dad meet up in your area? I know it sounds cheesy but honestly hanging with other dads who are in the same boat has been a lifesaver. They get why you can't just drop everything to go out.