Loneliness is real when you're the dad working long hours

2w ago1 min read

Work 50+ hours a week and by the time I'm home I'm beat. Kids are in bed, wife is tired from solo parenting all day, and I'm basically a ghost in the house. Don't have friends in my new city and honestly I feel pretty alone even though I'm surrounded by people. Anyone figured out how to build a social life when you have kids and a demanding job? I know I need to fix this for my mental health but everything feels exhausting right now.

8 comments210 views

Comments(8)

MMatt J.Regular2w ago

That ghost feeling is tough. When I'm exhausted after work the last thing I want is one more thing to do, but even a quick walk around the block with the family on weekends helped me feel less disconnected. You're not failing them just by being tired.

LLuis H.New Dad2w ago

Man, I feel this hard. With split custody I get those focused days with my three, but the guilt about missing the everyday stuff is real. Those 50+ hour weeks are brutal - have you thought about even just 15 minutes of real time with the kids before bed, even if it's just sitting with them?

CCraigNew Dad2w ago

50+ hours is brutal. I was doing that before and realized I was basically a ghost in my own house. It's tough because you want to provide but you also want to actually be there, you know?

EEricRegular2w ago

The loneliness is real even when you're surrounded by people. When you're that exhausted there's no emotional energy left to connect. Have you talked to your wife about this?

EEvan M.New Dad2w ago

This hits different. My wife is solo parenting all day then I come home too wiped to do much. We've been trying to carve out even 30 minutes where we're both present together and it helps.

KKevinRegular2w ago

The loneliness part is real and doesn't get talked about enough. You're physically in the house but your brain is checked out from work. Consider if you can sync up even one night a week with your wife after kids are down. Doesn't have to be big.

PPedroRegular2w ago

This resonates. Co-parenting across two places and working a ton just compounds the feeling. You need your people though. Are you able to get even occasional buddy time with other dads?

CChris R.Regular2w ago

50+ hour weeks with three kids is a lot. I get that exhaustion. Even 20 minutes of something for yourself on the commute home or just before bed can help. Not enough but it's what kept me sane during those years.