Lost my job two weeks ago - spiraling a bit

Dec 171 min read

They did a whole restructure and I was one of the cuts. Haven't told most people because ngl I'm ashamed and also terrified. Have a family to support. My 3yo and 9yo don't really know what's happening but my wife is stressed and that's making everything worse. I'm trying to job search but my brain feels like static. Some days I can't get out of bed. Other days I'm manic about it, looking at jobs I'm overqualified for and way underqualified for simultaneously. Don't even know what I'm looking for by posting this. Just needed someone to know.

12 comments140 views

Comments(12)

TTim B.RegularDec 18

Depending on your situation you might have severance, unemployment benefits, maybe short-term savings. A lot of parents don't realize they have runway. Worth talking to someone about concrete numbers instead of spiraling.

PPhil B.RegularDec 18

Two weeks is still super fresh. Give yourself some grace before the spiral gets worse. Have you looked into unemployment benefits or severance yet? Sometimes having concrete next steps (filing, updating resume, reaching out to contacts) helps the mental load feel less abstract.

CChris T.RegularDec 20

This. I was in your exact spot in 2019 - family of 4, suddenly jobless. What helped: 1) told my wife's parents immediately so we had backup, 2) actually had MORE time with my kids which sounds dumb but helped my mental health, 3) landed something in 6 weeks. You will get through this.

RRyan G.RegularDec 18

I'm not gonna sugarcoat - two weeks is early, you're still in shock. Most people don't land their next thing for 6-12 weeks minimum. Start reaching out to your network NOW. That's usually how jobs happen, not from applying online.

TTyler K.RegularDec 19

to the wife comment - what if she freaks out? we have a mortgage and I haven't even started looking yet

PPaul T.RegularDec 18

You need to tell your wife at minimum. Trying to carry this alone while also job hunting and acting normal is going to break you. She's your partner in this.

FFrank K.RegularDec 18

One practical thing: start by just telling family/close friends you're job hunting. Removes the secret weight and people can actually help. No one cares about the restructure story, everyone gets that stuff happens.

AAndy T.RegularDec 19

lol the shame is the worst part honestly. I got laid off 3 years ago and didn't tell anyone for a month. Finally told my brother and he was like "why are you embarrassed? The company failed you, not the other way around." Flipped my perspective. You didn't fail.

KKarl J.RegularDec 19

Man, the shame part is real. But a restructure isn't a reflection on you - that's just business being business. Your kids don't need you to have it all figured out, they need you present. Consider telling them something simple like "Dad's between jobs right now but we're gonna be okay." Kids are tougher than we think.

JJosh E.RegularDec 20

The shame is so real but honestly your kids being 3 and 9 means you have options - part-time, contract work, maybe a different industry entirely. This one restructure doesn't define your whole path. Rough right now but fixable.

RRandy B.RegularDec 20

Hey man, I've been there. The shame piece is real but everyone gets restructured. It's not a reflection of you. You're not the first parent to go through this and you won't be the last. Sending strength.

ZZack M.RegularDec 20

The fact that you're worried about supporting your family shows you've got your priorities right. That matters more than the job itself right now. Have you got an emergency fund or partner income to buy you some time to be selective about the next role?