I get so stressed about stupid things that I snap at my kids for no reason. Then I feel like garbage because they didn't do anything wrong. My oldest asked me why I was yelling and I couldn't even explain it to him. I'm trying to be better about it, been doing some breathing exercises when I feel it coming on. But some days I feel like I'm failing them.
Been there. The snap, the guilt spiral, repeat. Got on some anxiety meds and it helped way more than I expected. Not saying that's the answer for everyone but might be worth exploring with a doc.
Have you tried anything to manage the stress before it hits? Like walks, breathing stuff, anything physical? I found that burning off the anxiety before it gets to my kids made a huge difference.
Kids are resilient and they don't keep score like we do. You apologize, you move on, you do better next time. That cycle is actually teaching them something valuable about owning mistakes.
You're definitely not alone in this. I snap at my kids all the time over dumb stuff and then feel terrible about it. The fact that you recognize it bothers you is actually the first step. Have you tried talking to them about it after?
I get this more than I'd like to admit. The guilt spiral after you snap is almost worse than the snap itself. What usually triggers it for you? For me it's usually being tired and hungry at the same time.
Real talk - the fact that you see it and feel bad about it means you're already being a better dad than you think. Most people don't even recognize the pattern. Have you tried talking to someone about the anxiety triggers?
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This is real and you should probably talk to someone professional about it. Not because you're a bad dad, but because you deserve to feel better and your kids deserve to see you work on it. Therapy isn't weakness, it's the opposite.