My dad was emotionally unavailable and now I'm terrified of doing that to my kids

Just realized in therapy that I'm basically living in fear of repeating my childhood. My dad was physically present but just... checked out. Now that I have kids (7m and 4f), I'm paranoid that I'm doing the same thing. I check in on them constantly, maybe too much? And if I have a bad day or need some quiet time, I feel guilty for hours. I know I'm not being the same kind of parent he was, but the anxiety is exhausting. Does anyone else have this fear? How do you differentiate between healthy boundaries and emotional distance?