My son asked why daddy was crying

Dec 221 min read

Had a rough day at work, came home already frustrated, kids were being kids (loud, messy, typical), and I just broke. Actually cried in front of my 5-year-old. He asked if he did something wrong and I felt like the worst parent ever. Obviously he didn't do anything wrong. I was just overwhelmed. We talked about it after and I explained that sometimes adults have sad feelings too. But man, that moment really hit home about how much I need to get my stuff together.

11 comments487 views

Comments(11)

GGary R.RegularDec 23

Don't be too hard on yourself. Kids are loud and messy, work is hard, everything stacks up. The important part is how you come back from it. Did you apologize and explain?

LLarry K.RegularDec 23

The fact that your 5yo's first instinct was to think HE did something wrong... dude, talk to him about that. Tell him grown-ups have bad days too and it's not his fault. Kids blame themselves for everything otherwise.

ZZack M.RegularDec 24

The real question is did you explain to him it wasn't his fault? Because kids need to hear that explicitly or they internalize "I made dad cry" and that sticks with them.

CChad R.RegularDec 24

This moment actually matters though. You're teaching him that feelings exist, that it's okay to not be okay, and that sometimes people need to let it out. Better he sees that than thinks dads just stay cool forever.

KKeith L.RegularDec 24

This is actually good though. You just showed him that dads cry, that it's okay to have feelings, that adults aren't robots. That's important stuff. How did you handle the conversation after?

DDustin P.New DadDec 25

the fact that his first instinct was worry he did something wrong tells you everything about how much he cares about you. reassure him when things are better and he'll remember that too

FFrank K.RegularDec 25

I had a similar breakdown in front of my kids and felt like garbage about it. But then i actually talked to them about stress and work being hard sometimes. made them less scared of it happening again

BBrian L.RegularDec 23

did you end up explaining to him what was going on or just needed space?

HHenry M.RegularDec 25

rough days are rough. you're human, he learned that dads have feelings too. that's not a bad lesson at that age

CCarl S.RegularDec 25

Been there. The guilt after is worse than the actual breakdown. But honestly your kid will remember that you let him see you're human, not that you lost it. That's valuable.

KKenny W.RegularDec 25

this is real parenting and honestly better than pretending everything is fine all the time. you showed him feelings are normal. that's important