Postpartum depression hit me hard and I didn't see it coming

Dec 231 min read

Second kid was born 6 weeks ago. First few weeks I felt... empty? Not sad, just completely emotionally numb. Couldn't bond with my newborn, didn't care about my older kid, felt like a failure.

My wife mentioned postpartum depression for dads is real and I was like "that's not a thing" but then I looked into it and... yeah. It's a thing. Started seeing a therapist, might try meds. Just wanted to post this because if anyone else is going through it, you're not broken. This is apparently pretty common and treatable.

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Comments(9)

TTerrence J.RegularDec 23

I had something similar after my second. The numbness was actually scarier to me than sadness would've been because at least sadness feels like something. Took me a few weeks on SSRIs to feel human again. You're not a failure - you're postpartum.

IIan P.RegularDec 23

PPD doesn't always look like what people think it looks like. The fact you felt empty instead of sad but still recognized something was off—that awareness probably saved you months of suffering. How are you doing now?

DDom F.RegularDec 24

Your post got cut off but I want to say: if your wife is supportive, tell her what you told us. The empty feeling, the failure part, all of it. That's not weakness - that's data she needs to help you get help.

FFritz N.RegularDec 24

Six weeks in and feeling like a failure is peak PPD talking, not reality. You had a second kid six weeks ago - your brain chemistry is genuinely altered right now. Please reach out to your OB or a therapist who specializes in postpartum stuff. This is treatable.

SShane K.New DadDec 25

The not bonding part hits different, right? Everyone talks about the depression but the disconnection is what really messes with your head. Did your wife notice something was off, or did she also feel the distance?

AAaron W.RegularDec 24

Hey man, that emotional numbness is PPD too - not just sadness. The fact you recognized it as "empty" rather than sad is actually really self-aware. Did you talk to your doctor about it?

NNate H.RegularDec 25

This is so important to talk about. A lot of people think postpartum is just crying and anxiety, but depression manifests weird sometimes. The numbness especially—that's terrifying because you feel broken instead of just sad. Your wife sounds supportive though, which helps. Did therapy help shift things?

RRob K.RegularDec 26

The emotional numbness after the second kid hit different for me too. It's like you're going through the motions but you're watching yourself from outside your body. Glad you caught it and got help. That takes guts to admit.

LLuca P.RegularDec 23

My therapist told me the numbness is sometimes worse than the sadness because you don't feel bad enough to ask for help, you just feel... dead inside. Except you still have to function with two kids. Really glad you mentioned this post exists because someone's reading it right now thinking they're alone in feeling nothing.