Postpartum depression is real for dads too

Nov 221 min read

My son is 3 months old and I'm struggling way more than I expected. Wife's doing okay (thank god) but I'm exhausted, anxious about everything, and I keep having these intrusive thoughts about him getting hurt. I looked it up and apparently paternal postpartum depression is a thing? Has anyone else experienced this? Trying to figure out if I should mention it to my doctor or if I'm just being dramatic. Feel like I'm supposed to be the strong one right now and admitting I'm not doing great feels like I'm failing.

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Comments(2)

JJoe C.Regular1d ago

Got diagnosed with postpartum anxiety when my twins were 2 months old and felt the exact same shame about it. The intrusive thoughts were brutal—mine were about SIDS constantly, checking the monitors obsessively. Mentioned it to my pediatrician first (felt less scary than my regular doc) and he immediately referred me to someone who specialized in paternal PPD. Turns out it's legit common and treatable. Therapy + low dose SSRI changed everything for me. The "strong one" thing is a trap man. Being strong for your family actually means getting help when you need it, not white-knuckling through it. Your son needs you present and functioning way more than he needs you to suffer silently.

NNolan J.Regular1d ago

Not being dramatic at all. Go talk to your doctor about this, seriously. The intrusive thoughts + exhaustion + anxiety combo at 3 months is textbook paternal PPD. One thing that helped me was knowing the difference between having a thought and believing it—your brain's just being paranoid because it's in protect-mode, but that doesn't mean you're actually failing or that anything bad will happen. Also curious: are you getting ANY breaks or is your wife also leaning on you for everything right now? Because sleep deprivation alone will make the anxiety 10x worse.