Quick question - burnout vs depression, how do you tell the difference?

Nov 301 min read

Work has been insane (I'm in tech sales), kids are 3 and 8, and I feel completely drained. But is that just normal dad burnout or is something deeper happening? I don't have major depressive symptoms like loss of interest in things I like - I still want to golf, still want to hang with friends. But I also feel like I'm running on fumes and everything irritates me. Just trying to figure out if I need to see someone or just need a vacation.

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Comments(9)

RReggie K.New Dadjust now

Tech sales is insane for burnout though. The constant pressure, the metrics, the emails - that alone would drain anyone. Add kids ages 3 and 8 and you're basically never off. Have you actually talked to someone professional about it yet or just self-diagnosing?

KKeith L.Regularjust now

That gap between "still interested in hobbies" and "completely drained all the time" is where a lot of guys live and don't get help for. The good news: that's exactly what therapy is good for. Burnout is treatable.

RRyan M.New Dad20h ago

Honestly the fact that you're asking this question means something's off. Normal burnout is "ugh work is killing me." What you're describing sounds like it might be depression that's not the classic kind. I'd talk to someone sooner than later.

LLuke N.Regularjust now

I'd get a baseline from a doctor just to rule stuff out. Sounds like burnout to me but a professional should probably confirm. And then figure out what's actually drainable - is it the job? the kids? both? Once you know, you can actually fix it.

WWes B.Regularjust now

The tech sales world is brutal. I did that for 4 years and felt exactly like this - drained but not depressed? It was burnout but it was also starting to become depression and I didn't realize it until I got out. Not saying quit your job but definitely talk to a professional about what's happening. The draining feeling + the fact that you're asking this question is worth investigating.

SSteve Q.Regular13h ago

The complete drain feeling while still having interest in fun stuff is textbook burnout. The question is: can you fix it with better boundaries at work, or do you need to switch jobs like the other guy did? Because if the job itself is the problem, rest days won't fix it long-term.

HHarvey L.Regularjust now

The fact that you still want to golf and hang with friends actually points more toward burnout than depression, but the drained feeling is real either way. Burnout is fixable with rest and boundaries. Depression is different. Have you talked to a doctor about this specifically?

DDan M.Regularjust now

Tech sales + 3 and 8 year old is legitimately one of the most brutal combinations. That job sucks the life out of you and then you come home to two kids who need stuff. That's not depression, that's just... a lot. But you should still talk to someone because burnout can spiral.

MMarcus L.Regularjust now

The fact that you still want to golf and hang with friends is actually a good sign that it might be burnout rather than depression. Depression usually kills those desires entirely. That said, the completely drained feeling is worth exploring - could be burnout, could be early depression, could be just the combo of tech sales + two young kids which is BRUTAL.