Working 50+ hours, two kids ages 5 and 7, trying to be present for everyone and I'm absolutely running on empty. Everything feels harder than it should be. My wife suggested I might be burned out but doesn't that just mean I need to push harder? Idk, looking for real talk here.
50+ hours + two young kids is objectively a lot. Not trying to minimize your wife's point but you're not lazy, you're just maxed out. Have you actually looked at cutting hours or is that not an option?
Burnout is absolutely real and you're describing it pretty accurately. The "everything feels harder" part is the tell - that's not laziness, that's your brain and body tapping out. Laziness is more like not wanting to do stuff. Burnout is wanting to but having no gas in the tank
Lazy people don't work 50 hours AND try to be present parents. Lazy people aren't exhausted because they don't care. You clearly care a lot and you're stretched too thin. Get some help if you can - babysitter, family, whatever - and take actual breaks
I hit a wall like this around year 3 of kid #2. Went to a therapist and she basically said I had no margin for error - any small thing would wreck me because I was already at 120%. The solution wasn't pushing harder, it was cutting stuff. Started saying no to things that didn't matter
The fact that you're wondering if you're lazy instead of just accepting you're tired is probably the biggest sign you need to cut back. Lazy people don't feel guilty about not being present
The being present part is actually the killer. You're not just working 50 hours, you're also supposed to be emotionally available for two kids AND partner. That's not laziness, that's an impossible schedule. Something's gotta give - either work hours or expectations about being present 24/7
Burnout is absolutely real dude. 50+ hours plus two young kids with no break is not sustainable - that's not laziness, that's just math. Your wife is probably right. The fact that everything feels harder means your tank is empty, not that you're weak
I hit this exact wall last year and didn't realize until I literally couldn't get out of bed one Saturday. Turned out I hadn't had a single day to myself in like 8 months. Started doing one thing a week - just one - that was just for me. Sounds tiny but it saved me
Listen to your wife on this one. She's probably seeing it clearer than you are because she's not the one burning out. When everything feels hard, that's the signal
Real talk: burnout gets worse before you notice it and SO much worse before you address it. I was exactly here 18 months ago. Started with just taking Saturdays completely off from 'productivity' and that helped but you might need bigger changes
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This is burnout. Laziness would be not caring about being present. You clearly care a lot but you're running on fumes. Do you have any way to offload even one thing - like hire someone for house cleaning, meal prep service, SOMETHING that gives you 5 hours back a week?