I've been trying to take better care of myself, like going to the gym or just having an hour to myself, but I feel guilty the whole time. Like I should be with the kids or helping my wife. How do you guys balance taking care of your own mental health without feeling like you're being selfish? Because I'm pretty sure I'm not doing it right.
That guilt is real but it's lying to you. I hit the gym before the kids wake up and I'm honestly a way better husband and dad because of it. Your kids need you healthy and sane more than they need you guilty.
Man, taking care of yourself makes you a better dad, not a selfish one. I'm still in the fog with my 3-month-old but I can already tell I'm more present when I get even 20 minutes to breathe. You're doing the right thing.
One hour for yourself isn't selfish, it's necessary maintenance. I do ice cream runs with my boys and those are some of our best moments, but I couldn't enjoy them the same way if I was burned out all the time.
One hour to yourself is not selfish. That's the bare minimum honestly. I've got four kids and I still carve out time to decompress or I lose it on everyone.
I struggle with this constantly. My therapist actually reframed it for me though. She said that modeling self-care for my kids is teaching them it's important too. So really you're not being selfish, you're teaching them a life skill.
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It's not selfish at all. Taking care of yourself makes you a better dad. When I skip the gym for a few weeks I'm way more irritable with my kids. The gym time is like hitting a reset button for my mental health.
The guilt is real. But here's the thing, if you burn yourself out completely you're no good to anyone. Your wife needs you functional and your kids need a dad who isn't running on empty.