Started therapy last month - actual update

Dec 241 min read

So I've been seeing a therapist for about 6 weeks now (took me forever to actually book it) and yesterday something kind of clicked. We were talking about how I lose it on my kids over stupid stuff - like when they don't put their shoes on fast enough in the morning - and she pointed out I'm not actually mad about shoes. I'm angry about feeling out of control at work.

Still mad about the shoes sometimes lol, but at least now I can see the pattern. My 8yo even said I seem less grumpy yesterday. Small wins, I guess.

10 comments185 views

Comments(10)

PPete Y.RegularDec 24

"Took me forever to actually book it" - that's the hardest part tho. Tons of guys never even get there. Respect for actually doing it.

LLuca P.RegularDec 24

Therapy gang let's go. 6 weeks is when the real work starts anyway. Those first sessions are just context-setting. Excited to hear you're noticing patterns, that's the actual hard part that changes everything

RRob K.RegularDec 24

okay this is actually huge though. most parents never get to that realization that losing it over 'stupid stuff' is actually rooted in something else entirely. What was the click? Like what shifted in how you understood your own reactions?

FFritz N.RegularDec 24

The 6 week mark is real. Before that it's still kind of surface level stuff. Really interested in what clicked for you - was it something specific your therapist said or more like a pattern you started noticing yourself?

JJason K.New DadDec 24

Wait, something clicked in therapy means you actually had a realization or breakthrough? What was the thing about losing it on small stuff?

MMax R.RegularDec 25

The stupid stuff explosions are always about something else. Like you're not actually mad about the spilled milk, you're mad you haven't slept right in 3 years.

KKent R.RegularDec 25

This is what therapy actually does that people don't talk about - it's not about feeling happier, it's about finally understanding WHY you keep doing the thing you hate doing. That moment when you realize you're snapping at your kid over a cup on the counter but you're actually mad about 17 other things is game-changing.

NNick J.RegularDec 25

The fact that it took 6 weeks to hit a moment is real - therapy isn't instant. What's different now with how you react to the kids?

DDale J.RegularDec 26

Therapy hitting different at 6 weeks in is actually normal - first few sessions are just venting/setup, then something lands. How are you feeling about continuing?

SSteve C.RegularDec 27

This is encouraging. I've been saying I should go to therapy for 2 years. Did it change how your wife reacts to you too or mainly just internal?