Started therapy last month - here's what I wish I'd done sooner

Dec 41 min read

Been seeing a therapist since March after my wife basically sat me down and said "this isn't working." I've got two kids (8 and 11) and I was just... checked out. Drinking too much, snapping at everyone, lying in bed scrolling at 2am because sleep felt pointless. My therapist is helping me realize a lot of my anxiety comes from thinking I have to be the "provider" and can't ask for help. We've been working on naming when I'm in that headspace. Last week I actually told my wife "I'm overwhelmed and need help with bedtime" instead of just silently seething. She didn't think I was weak - she just helped. Game changer, honestly.

11 comments331 views

Comments(11)

LLuca P.RegularDec 5

Your wife sitting you down hits different man. Mine did the same thing like two years ago and I was SO defensive at first. But she was right - I was basically a ghost in my own family. Glad you actually went to therapy instead of just brushing it off.

WWalter T.RegularDec 4

Did your therapist give you actual tools or was it mostly venting? Asking because I've done therapy before and felt like I was just talking into the void. Want to know if a different approach might actually stick this time.

DDwayne S.RegularDec 5

Your wife was right to call that out and props to you for actually going. So many dads just get defensive about that conversation. Therapy's been a game-changer for you?

LLou P.RegularDec 5

I'm in month 2 of therapy now after basically the same wake-up call. Still early but I'm already noticing I snap less. Did your kids comment on any changes?

NNolan J.RegularDec 5

How long before you noticed a difference? I've been thinking about this but keep putting it off and idk if it's actually worth the time/money investment when I'm already stretched thin.

CCarl S.RegularDec 4

Same energy as when my wife had to basically drag me kicking and screaming to get help. Best thing that ever happened to me though. The drinking too much part resonated hard - that was my way of checking out instead of dealing with anything.

HHarvey L.RegularDec 5

"Checked out" is the phrase that got me reading this. That's exactly what I was doing before I finally got help too. How long did it take before you started feeling like yourself again?

TTony V.RegularDec 6

This is real. I was checked out too and didn't even realize how much my kids were asking for my attention until I started getting better. The snapping at everything part especially - my 6yo used to flinch when I raised my voice and that broke me. Therapy helped more than I wanted to admit.

MMike R.New DadDec 6

Real talk - the drinking and snapping at the kids is what made me finally go too. My wife gave me the same talk. Best decision I made. The fact that you're in it now means a lot is probably already shifting for your family.

CChris P.RegularDec 6

How are things with the kids now? Like are they noticing a difference in you? That's what I'm hoping for most - not just feeling better myself but actually being THERE for them.

ZZack M.RegularDec 6

The "I wish I'd done this sooner" is what gets me every time. Because yeah, hindsight. But you're doing it now and that matters for your 8 and 11 year old.